Caring for elderly parents is a subject some are afraid to think about. Their minds are filled with images of nursing homes where their parents are constantly medicated, lonely and depressed. The fact is, there’s no need to feel this way, as there are many viable alternatives to care homes.

From individual care homes, to controlled flats and retirement villages, there are so many ideas to look at. You need to consider the following:

1) The level of care your parents need. Do they just need a little help with everyday things like shopping, laundry and cleaning? Or do they need round-the-clock care?

2) Will new housing improve their quality of life? Certain care options would only serve to limit and depress parents who have been used to a certain way of life for many years.

3) The distance from their current home, and whether or not they have the will to move away.

4) Long-term happiness, health, finances and well-being. While one option might seem good now, it might be unsuitable in five years’ time.

All these considerations can prove overwhelming to many families. But, there are things one can do to help. First, all options should be researched thoroughly, regardless of one’s initial opinion on them. It’s a good idea to consult your family GP and get their professional advice. Second, it’s vital that families do their best to be open and honest with each other about their feelings towards each option, whilst maintaining respect for one another’s views. Otherwise, the process will be very difficult. Finally, children need to get to know in detail every aspect of their parents’ life. This includes information on medications, foods they are eating, ability to finish daily tasks, how active they are – you need to know them through and through. It’s the only way to getting to the right decision.

Care homes are the most suitable for the least impaired parents, offering simple supervision in case of emergency while they carry on as normal. Retirement communities are even better for those who might miss the feeling of being surrounded by real neighbours and friends. Parents can live their lives as they want; make new friends, learn new skills and stay healthy and happy receiving all the care they need. Whatever the case, no stone must be left unturned in your search for the ideal care solution.

If your aging parent is having trouble getting around, there are many mobility aids that can help keep them mobile. They range from simple single-tip canes to the fanciest rolling walkers with seats and shopping baskets.

It can be a little overwhelming to understand the differences between these products.

Canes

Simple cane

Canes are helpful walking aids when the biggest issue is balance. They provide a simple way to prevent falls and give greater confidence. You can choose from folding or straight models. Pictured is a high-tech carbon fiber cane that weighs only 7 ounces. Carbon fiber is lighter than aluminum but six times stronger. The folding version adjusts between 33 and 37 inches long, which fits most adults.

If you need to put more weight on your cane, look into a “quad cane” with four tips on the end.

Also look into canes with seats. These are a little heavier and bulkier than a standard cane, but the advantage is they come with a small seat where you can perch when you need a rest. These are particularly good for family outings where the older person may need to rest from time to time to keep up with the younger generations.

Crutches

Permanent crutch

Crutches provide much more support than canes. Instead of relying on the strength of your wrist, canes use the strength and stability of your entire arm. Most models consist of an arm cuff and a handgrip attached to a strong aluminum tube. (For long term use you want to avoid the “broken leg” style wooden crutches that go under the armpit — they’re just not as comfortable.)

Consider a crutch with an ergonomic handle because these have been designed to distribute pressure over a greater area of the user’s hand. This makes the crutches easier and safer to use.

You can also find crutches specifically for people with arthritis in their hands. You use them with a bent elbow and put your weight on your forearms. (These are a real lifesaver for people who can’t use a cane or regular crutches due to their arthritis!)

Walkers

For people who need an extra measure of confidence, walkers provide a sturdy frame for balance and for weight distribution. They come from the simplest metal frames with cane tips to more deluxe models with wheels or special stop and start wheels that roll easily when the weight is taken off of them but lock when you press down. Look for a folding walker if you’ll be transporting it a lot.

Rollators

Rollators provide freedom

Rollators are the ultimate in mobility assistance and comfort. These “super walkers” have easy-rolling wheels and hand-grip brakes. No more shuffle-step as you have with a standard metal walker. Instead, you can roll along at your top speed, with full balance and a frame to lean on. Plus, rollators have an included seat and backrest so you can rest when you need to.

About The Mobility Superstore

The Mobility Superstore [link] has over 6000 independent living products to help anyone with mobility issues live a more independent life. In addition to the walking aids discussed here, they also carry mobility scooters, beds, reclining chairs and electric wheelchairs.

Love it, but sometimes reality doesn’t work as well as you think it will.

Last month I spent almost an hour on the phone with an older relative trying to get them set up on Skype. They’d used it before, but long enough ago that it took a while to get things going again.

Here’s a page on Squidoo talking about 3 ways you can really go wrong with Skype or other video chat systems. http://www.squidoo.com/3-video-chat-disasters-with-your-aging-parents-and-how-to-avoid-them .

It links to a new site called FireChat that tries to reinvent video chat for families with aging parents. Check it out at FireChat.com.

What’s your worst video chat disaster? Make a comment!

Keep mom and dad safe with these preventable and easily fixed forgotten hazards around the home.

Navigation

Exterior and interior steps create difficulty for aging individuals. Fix these hazards with ramps.

Cords, rugs or flooring transitions between rooms also create navigational challenges. Move or mask these tripping hazards so your parents can walk without tripping over something. You may also need to evaluate the type of flooring and ensure it provides a seamless walking surface.

Lighting

The outer walkway may be well lit at night, but your parents need adequate indoor lighting as well. Neon track lighting or a small plug-in light can help your parents stay safe when they need to get up overnight.

Mobility

Getting around inside a home challenges anyone who uses a cane, walker or wheelchair. You may need to enlarge the doorways and hallways, open up the floor plan and create accessibility between floors. These actions increase safety throughout the home. Contractor accounting software helps you financially plan these and other safety renovations.

Bathroom

Slippery surfaces pose major threats to safety in the bathroom. Install non-slip flooring in front of the sink and in the shower.

You may also need to install a grab bar or bathtub rail to help your parents safely navigate the shower and use the toilet. A heightened toilet seat ensures older individuals can use the toilet with ease.

Medication

A typical part of a senior adult’s routine, medications pose safety hazards when they’re not taken or stored properly. Make sure your parents have their pills organized each week. Set reminder alarms if they’re prone to forget their regular pills. You may need to help them store, count and refill prescriptions as needed to prevent medical emergencies caused by taking too little or too much medicine.

Cleanliness

Mobility or health issues may prevent your parents from cleaning their home as often as necessary. Dirt creates unsanitary conditions, aggravates respiratory issues and increases infections. Likewise, viruses spread faster in an unclean environment. If your parents need help keeping their home clean, hire a weekly cleaning service.

Likewise, change furnace and refrigerator filters. These filters are easy to forget, but they provide clean indoor air, water and ice.

Clutter is another issue. If your parents are willing, help them downsize collectibles and other possessions. Limiting clutter creates a cleaner home and decreases tripping dangers.

Your aging parents can stay safely in their own home despite hidden hazards. Common hazards challenge their aging bodies, but you can make their home safe by installing key safety features throughout their home.

Byline: Michelle currently works for a company that specializes in Contractor accounting software. She has a passion for the Internet, specifically social media and blogging. She loves how social media connects people across the globe, and appreciates that blogging gives her the opportunity to voice her thoughts and share advice with an unlimited audience.

The emotional rollercoaster

While many retirees and over-50s are past masters of organisation and planning, they can often be sideswiped by the unexpected emotional impact of downsizing. At the start it is very easy to be focused on the thrill of starting a new phase in one’s life – so much so that when the inevitable feelings of nostalgia hit, along with the wrench that comes from leaving a place so brimful of happy family memories, they can find themselves quite overwhelmed. The good news is that this bittersweet feeling is quite natural, so if you’re ready for it, you can even enjoy the feelings. The trick is not to kid yourself that downsizing is a mere practical activity – there’s emotions there which are worth acknowledging.

Size does matter

That said, one does have to be practical – downsizing is a complex process. When examining a prospective new home, it’s vital to measure all living areas and all existing furniture and bulky possessions. It’s unlikely that all will fit in your new abode, and there may not be sufficient storage space for the rest. Ask yourself if you really want to keep an item, and if not sell it or give it to a relative. For this activity you really need to be hard-headed, otherwise your new place will be knee-deep in clutter before you’ve even settled in.

Ask the family

One way of bridging the gap is to ask children or other family members what pieces they may be interested in, or maybe you know a young couple struggling to furnish their first home who would be glad of a couple of thoughtful gifts. Remember that it is much easier to say goodbye to treasured pieces of furniture when you know they’re going to a good home.

Picture from Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/cdpm/3669491630/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Image from Fickr

Senior alert systems, also known as medical alarms, are devices that are designed to call for help if you can’t reach the phone. They consist of an alert button you wear on your body and (usually) a base station that dials for help. They can either dial pre-programmed numbers or dial a monitoring center.

I think the monitored options are the best because you know you’ll always be able to reach a trained person who will keep their cool in an emergency.

But cost in an issue. With most monitored senior alerts, you don’t actually buy the equipment. You just lease or borrow it from the company and what you really pay for is the monitoring service, which runs between $20 and $50 a month.

Some companies insist that you sign a long term contract when you start your service. These may be 1 year, 2 year or even 3 year agreements.

It’s important to recognize that these contracts are legal agreements and you are committing to keep paying each month even if the service isn’t right for you anymore. Some services will let you out of the contract if you provide a doctor’s note that the person has moved to an assisted living facility, but they don’t make it easy. And some services have even been dinged on consumer review sites for making it hard to cancel even after the person who had the service has died.

But do you need a contract?

No.

There are TONS of senior alert services that don’t require contracts. You pay month-to-month or you can pay up front and get a discount. You have plenty of options. You can even choose companies that let you save money by paying in advance, but if you need to cancel they’ll send you back the money for any unused months.

One of these is Medipendant, and they also have the advantage of being a walkie-talkie style system (cordless phone based, actually) that allows you to talk through a small pendant instead of having to shout to be heard.

Summary:

There’s no need to sign a contract when you purchase a senior alert service. There are many good options that don’t require a long-term commitment.

Independent Living

Lets start with the most liberating service which is “Independent Living.” Many senior care facilities offer an all-inclusive service which means your monthly rental fee includes the following:

- Restaurant style dining – 24 hour emergency service – Transportation service – Housekeeping service – Onsite activities – Activity programs and more…

So, as you can see this type of senior care is for seniors that are still active, but want the luxury of not having to do some of the day-to-day routine tasks that they would normally have to do themselves. Plus, some of the other extra curricular activities are available if they choose to participate in them.

Assisted Living

Seniors that need help with some daily tasks will find this type of care suits their needs. Seniors who are recovering from a fall, or maybe those who have had a mild stoke – these would be some of the reasons a person would require this type of care. So, what does assisted living care consist of?

- Dressing – Bathing – Grooming – Medication Monitoring

These are some areas that this type of care covers. As you will see this is quite different compared to skilled care.

Skilled Nursing Care

When a senior needs 24 hour monitoring and care, then skilled nursing care is the service required for this situation. There are basically two types of patients in this category – one is admitted on a short-term basis. This could be someone recovering from surgery that needs outpatient monitoring, or someone who has a illness that that requires short-term care. The other type of patients are ones that requires long-term care – you have heard these facilities called “Nursing Homes.”

This senior care facility is a 24 hour service which has registered nurses and assistants trained to handle most medical emergencies. Seniors who require this type of care generally are dependent on the staff for most of their daily basic needs.

Alzheimer’s – one major problem growing among seniors is Alzheimer’s. There are skilled nursing facilities that specialize in these situations. Seniors with this disease can function on their own to a certain degree, but they still require 24 hour monitoring because of the nature of this disease. In many cases an ankle bracelet is required which triggers an alarm if the patient drifts to far from the facility.

As you have read senior care encompasses a wide range of services. You don’t have to be sick or disabled to enjoy independent living in these facilities, but if needed they do offer a range of assisted living services that makes life just a little better no matter what the situation…Caring for Seniors is what it’s all about.

About the author:

Lisa James a well known author has been writing articles on geriatric care. For more information visit the website SeniorCare.net

A new service called POM4U aims to put this worry to rest.

POM4U is short for Peace Of Mind For You, and it works both ways, giving peace of mind both to the person who lives alone and to the person who worries about them.

The service is designed not just for seniors, but since this is a site about aging parents, we’ll confine ourselves to that use case.

Here’s how it works. You set your senior up with an account on their computer, tablet, or smartphone. Together you define certain regular checkin times, like each morning. When the senior is up and about, they check in on the device (they don’t have to write anything) and go about their day. You only get a notification if they miss their checkin. That way you know they are either still in bed or they’ve forgotten to check in. A quick phone call can assure you they’re okay. Or if they’re not, you can get help to them.

The senior can also set an ad-hoc alert. Let’s say they’re going for a walk, and if they’re not back in an hour that’s probably because something bad happened. All they have to do is set the checkin time and if they don’t meet it, everyone in the network gets an alert.

Additional Features:

There are two kinds of “friends” in the system. There’s your inner circle (the people who get alerts if you don’t check in) and the outer circle of people who are connected to you but don’t see the details.

POM4U’s photo and video sharing feature lets you share photos with people in both circles.

Important things to consider:

This system will only work if the elderly person wants to use it. Unlike a medical alert, which you might be able to strongarm a parent into wearing just in case (and which they will probably use if they have an accident), this system only works if the person uses it attentively.

POM4U also doesn’t appear to be a good solution for people with cognitive issues like dementia.

The service is based in England, so the prices are in Pounds.

This is NOT a Personal Emergency Response System. It’s not designed to be used in an emergency or life-threatening event.

My thoughts:

I think this is an intriguing service that will meet the needs of some people very well. I confess I don’t really like the name! Also, this company is in its early stages, so I’m sure they’ll be refining their offering and adding new features. They’re certainly tackling and important issue, and I like the basic way they’re approaching it: we want people to know we’re okay, but we don’t want to have to be burdened by having conversations with them several times a day.

The system has a free 1-month trial. I encourage you to check it out and see if it works for your family. Click here: POM4U.com

During a recent hospital stay, I was frozen with anxiety when I caught sight of my friendly nurse coming in my direction carrying a wash basin and towels. She heard it all before I’m sure…”Thanks, I’ll wait till I get home…I can do it myself…Ugh, I don’t need a bath anyway, really.”

The casual approach didn’t seem to work very well. As the adrenaline fueled my body, I wondered why I couldn’t just tell my attending nurse the “naked” truth?

I was embarrassed.

This peculiar emotion confounded my senses and reason. Being uncovered physically was bad enough, but exposure of my vulnerability threatened my very dignity.

Thankfully, as a paying customer, my excuses were reluctantly received. The staff confirmed my notion. “The showers in a hospital are rarely used”, they said. The relief of going home calmed my anxiety.

How would I have felt if I were already “home”?

My mother and I faced this troubling question after she came to live with my husband and me. As her health faltered, aides and therapists came to offer their services. In hushed tones the necessary details were exchanged regarding her therapy and personal care. After the rubber gloves were tossed and the paperwork signed, a pause brought her eyes toward mine. Mom spoke softly. “I don’t like this…would you like it if she took you in the shower?”

She had been a champion for me for whatever cause I was fighting my whole life. When I was eight and hospitalized, she smuggled underwear into my room so I’d feel covered and comfortable while wearing the dreaded open-backed “gown”. Now that I was her advocate I wanted to help her keep her dignity. If I volunteered to help with the bathing task, could I honor her while stepping over

Her intimate boundaries? And so my quest began to understand and deal with this troubling issue.

Should I out-smart it or just make peace with it? I began to ask questions, and take notes from those I met while caring for my Mom. I wanted to hear how others were dealing with this issue of being body-shy in the presence of a caregiver.

I heard from compassionate nurses and aides who suggested creative ways of staying covered. Showering in a slip, towels or keeping the undergarments on during bathing were a few. But when these wet garments needed to come off, the problem of exposure returned.

Having a choice to say no was a popular solution, but if a shower was truly needed, then what? The Certified Nursing Assistants I questioned said about half of their new clients refused baths due to embarrassment.

Oddly enough, among the bath-dodgers, they said doctors who were under their care as patients were the worst offenders! Weren’t they the ones who would ease our embarrassment with the line, “Don’t worry , I’ve seen it all before”? All kidding aside, the Medical community acknowledges the embarrassment factor with a variety of cover-ups. However flimsy, these paper shawls and dresses may not be the most fashionable, but I’m grateful they are not taken away.

For professional and family caregivers who desired the best for their residents and loved ones, there was definitely a challenge finding a solution to this delicate dilemma of intimate care.

This frustration led me on a quest to find a better way. With the help of my mom (who was my quality control specialist) I was inspired to design a stylized garment that would solve this problem. It needed to be water-friendly, but not get in the way of personal hygiene. Hey, why not cover just the “bare” essentials?

I envisioned a flap-type wrap, which resembled the garment Tarzan or Jane would wear under a waterfall. Perhaps updating the loin cloth with overlapping panels would help give access to personal hygiene, without having to be removed. A dry version may also help with the removal of a wet one. The personal care garment was born!

After I finished my sketches, the day came for me to assist my mom in a quick body clean-up. A makeshift prototype was quickly made from a couple old hand towels stitched and safety-pinned together. We both made it through the bathing crisis without the discomfort of embarrassment.

I discovered from this simple garment, there was a definite relationship between dignity and clothing. By covering what was private to her, Mom’s honor found expression. This affirmation of her dignity was not just an attitude, but a real barrier that communicated respect.

The dread of boundary crossing was gone. Her new “birthday suit” was worn for showering, clothing changes, quick sponge baths and even help in the bathroom.

Through the next year, we both soldiered it out, as she needed more help. Many emotions were felt and shared. Embarrassment was not one of them.

Dignity preservation for bathing was a new frontier.

Some of my notions regarding this subject-matter were explored. Can dignity be restored after it’s lost? Did age matter? I believed losing dignity was not a right of passage into old age.

I surveyed seniors to measure their DQ (Dignity Quotient). How did they really feel about being naked in the presence of a family or professional caregiver? Would embarrassment prevent them from answering honestly? Would they answer any differently than the general public?

Here are the results from a public questionnaire given during a senior expo:

Women who felt uncomfortable ~ 88%

Men who felt uncomfortable ~ 58%

Women who said being covered would make a difference ~ 97%

Men who said being covered would make a difference ~ 75%

I also asked the same questions to residents living in our neighborhood assisted living facility, except this time it was done in privacy. Each one was encouraged to share their opinions. Issues included the embarrassment of opposite gender aides, and the humiliation of their grown children seeing them exposed.

Every one questioned felt having a choice was important. All, without exception spoke of situations that caused embarrassment, where a cover would make a difference.

Curiosity fueled my efforts to chase down the staff for their comments. You can guess the response. It was through these experiences that led me to start a nonprofit organization to help professional and family caregivers, and yes, for moms like mine. The

original garment my mom wore was a model for a line of personal care garments that’s offered through our charitable organization.

I believe Mom would be pleased to know how many people have been covered and comforted by the garment she helped to inspire.

Dignity is a powerful state of being. It’s like a warm sunset that covers us with a beautiful glow of appreciation. And who wouldn’t like to be seen in a good light?

Robin Lenart is a conference speaker and Executive Director of Dignity Resource Council. For more information about dignity preservation and personal care garments, visit www.dignityrc.org

Traveling with seniors definitely comes with a set of challenges. But they’re not insurmountable. Read our eight tips to find out how to travel with your aging parent.

1. When choosing your destination, consider Mom’s activity level. Some 75-year-olds run marathons, while others are confined to wheelchairs. Where does your parent fall on this spectrum? If Dad has limited mobility, a trip to New York City, where he’ll have to navigate busy streets and get in and out of taxis, might not be best best choice. Instead, consider a road trip or cruise. On river cruises, unlike ocean cruises, passengers can enjoy looking at towns from the ship, and the ship often docks right in town, making excursions on land easy.

2. Think ahead about air travel. Negotiating airports is stressful at the best of times. With an aging parent along, it can be even more so. To make things as easy as possible, prepare ahead of time. Tell Mom to wear loose, layered clothing. Her jacket and shoes should be easy to remove at security, and large jewelry that might set off metal detectors is better packed in the suitcase. Arrive at the airport early; if Mom has had a hip replacement or similar surgery, you’ll need extra time to get through security. Make sure to pack medication and other essentials in a carry-on; that way, if your luggage is lost, it will be an inconvenience rather than a disaster. Finally, if you think Mom might need a wheelchair to negotiate the long trek through the airport, call ahead to secure one.

3. Stay in a vacation rental. An apartment or house in which you and Mom can have your own bedrooms, and a kitchen where Mom can have her normal morning cup of tea is ideal. Having the freedom to prepare meals rather than go out, and a little personal space, will make traveling with your aging parent much easier. Certain websites allow locals list their homes for rent and often make for more affordable accommodations. Call to check that the rental won’t be hard for Mom to negotiate–a third-floor walkup could put a damper on your trip.

4. Plan activities you and Mom can enjoy together. You may love a vacation day jam-packed with museum visits. But hours of walking might be too much for Mom. Compromise your traveling wish-lists for the most enjoyable experience. Try planning a long, renewing lunch after a museum visit, or plan to spend time at the beach or pool, where Mom can read a novel in the shade while you swim.

5. Have several options for each day. You might wake up raring to go every morning, but Mom’s energy level will wax and wane. Have several options for each day that require a range of energy levels, such as trekking to a scenic location, a leisurely walk around the neighborhood, or catching a movie at the local cinema. If Mom can choose from a variety of appealing options, she won’t feel guilty when she’s too tired for a big day.

6. Plan for peace of mind. In each location you plan to visit, make sure ahead of time to research the locations of a 24-hour pharmacy and and English-speaking doctor. If mom has a medical emergency arise, you won’t have to worry about how to handle it. Also, do your best to make sure Mom feels confident: she should carry her own cash in the local currency, and tote a phrase dictionary so that she can get around on her own. Consider getting her a calling card or an international cell phone, so that she don’t feel cut off from her life at home.

7. Consider bringing a caregiver. Does Mom have a caregiver at home, who cleans up the house and cooks for her? It’s best to provide the same level of care on vacation that Mom is used to at home. If you can afford it, bringing along a private caregiver can make traveling with Mom much easier. If that isn’t feasible, try contacting home care agencies in the area to which you’ll be traveling. They can help you find a temporary caregiver who can help make your trip feel like a real vacation.

8. Enjoy the small moments. With Mom in tow, you aren’t likely to be admiring the view at Machu Picchu. But your conversation about your years together over plates of authentic Italian pasta is a memory you’ll treasure for years to come. If you make the focus of your trip enjoying your time together, rather than knocking accomplishments off a checklist, you’ll have more fun and remember your travels more fondly.

Traveling with Mom comes with its own set of challenges, but with the proper planning, the two of you will create memories that will last a lifetime.

About the Author:

Stephanie Warren does online outreach for Griswold Home Care, the nation’s oldest provider of  non medical in home care. Griswold Home Care has over 100 locations throughout the country to help you and your loved ones with senior care needs.

Photo by RickC Flickr Creative Commons